April 29, 2011

Papa Post


A guest post by yours truly
Ro's pop..


At the moment it's closing in on 9pm, which happens to be what time I got home from work. Luckily it's not too often that I have to stumble in at 9pm from the "office" but this past year I've been homeward bound no earlier than 7 o' clock many times. Seeing as my day starts at 5:30am getting home so late means I miss pretty much all but maybe two hours if I'm lucky of my little one's daily life. Two hours to catch up to mama, who's been in her line of sight 24/7 since she was born. That's impossible. Now factor in I'm usually gone these hours six days a week, factor in band practices, and other after work activities and that equals even more impossible. How do working dad's do it? Where does the quality time for your main squeeze come from? Where does the time for your own self come from? After a long day I can muster up just enough to grab a cold one from the fridge, shovel some food down and then end the day watching a little tv with my girls. I know for centuries this is how it has been to be a man with a family, but why? Why do we as people choose to create such unrealistic deadlines, why is everything rush rush, money money? I wish it was easy to walk away from things, but I'm one of those people that's been sucked in to this type of deal, no work no money, so it's off to work I go. Finding a balance between work and family time I think has to be one of the toughest parts of fatherhood, knowing that you will not be there for so many of their firsts is saddening. The worst part of it all is I'm a quick step away from a decade of this madness and its been like this since I can remember. I've talked to Jess about quitting my job and moving to a farm where we can be self sustaining and enjoy all the time in the world together but I know I'd never actually do it. Having a baby means certain needs to be met and it's off to work I go.
So ladies, appreciate your man for what he's doing and let him know he's appreciated.
We don't go to work to get away from home, we go to work to have a home. 

28 comments:

  1. Oh my, thank you, that has really made me think x

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  2. Very well said. I agree that it's quite frustrating how we as a people focus so much on the need to go, go, go and acquire more, more, more, and unfortunately as a result we often miss out on the most important things in life. Cool to hear a man's perspective in a sea of female blogs :)

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  3. You brought me to tears! I'm a SAHM and our baby girl took her first real crawl for her daddy last night while I was in the kitchen! You have no idea how thrilled he was to see this since he works so hard for us all day and feels like you. But even though you might not see the "first," they'll do it again! And again, and again and it's still just as awesome. ;) GREAT post from a dad's perspective.

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  4. Aww, this is really sweet. Really loved hearing his thoughts. There are so many 'mommy blogs' out there, and I do love so many of them, but it was great to hear from a father's perspective. I often wonder how I will deal with balancing work and family once I have a baby...I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must be.

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  5. Well said...thank you for a different perspective! What an amazing papa and husband <3

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  6. Thank you for this. My husband has very similar hours (usually leaves by 6:30 and gets home after 7pm), so I'm sure he can relate, as can I. He says he feels like that song "Cat's in the Cradle." It's tough on both sides, but it's good to get the dad's perspective. I always hope that it's just a phase and that someday we'll have dinner as a family every night. Wishing the same for you guys too.

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  7. I loved this so much!! Posts from husbands are always the best because they really share their feeling and makes us think sometimes :)

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  8. Loved this post! Getting a dad/husband's perspective is refreshing and is a great reminder of how lucky us ladies are to have our hubbies.

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  9. This was so sweet and so real! My husband works full time and goes to school and he really struggles with the balance. D is right, we have to remember to tell our men how proud we truly are for all they do for our families.

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  10. I try to tell my husband almost daily how much we (the babe and I) appreciate all he does so that I can stay home with the little one.

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  11. so beautifully written, papa!! i'm in LOVE with this post!!

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  12. my husband is in the same situation, working 60 hours a week, and only making it home in time to say goodnight to the kids.

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  13. Just wanted to say that this post made me cry.. and we do appreciate all that you sacrifice for us babe. I love you.

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  14. This is a really great post. Thank you for reminding us how hard our men work and how much they really mean to our families. Keep up the amazing work!

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  15. This certainly brought tears to my eyes. I just read this blog entry to my husband who also has to more often than not come home late during the week. He responded, "sums it up right there."

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  16. So beautifully written. Jess - you've got a great man! I absolutely love your blog.

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  17. All that and you even take the time to write a post for your wife's blog, you are amazing.

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  18. wow. so true! thanks for this post!

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  19. Amazing! Thank you for this post. Sadly, I often forget that the reason the hubs works late is so that i don't have to work so much. I really appreciate reading a man's thoughts. Its not often a man will tell you how it is.
    Jessica, you've got a great man there!

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  20. My husband and I JUST had this conversation yesterday. He feels the EXACT same way. Us mama's really do appreciate everything you daddy's do to allow us to stay home with our little ones. We know it's hard for you t not be home and see all the little cute things our babies do or watch their little personalities come to life, but we also know that once they start walking and talking, they are going to be all about daddy and forget who mommy even is. : ) I know where you guys live the cost of living is in.sane. so I definitely feel for you. keep your chin up daddy : )

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  21. well said papa. we too are in the same boat. some days my husband does not even see our baby boy awake. however, rest assured our little guy knows exactly who his dada is and milks every moment he gets, sunday in particular being a favourite day for my boys as they do some catch up bonding. whilst 'family time' is often compromised, i know i am a lucky lady indeed that my husband works as hard as he does as it means i can be a sahm and continue with my studies. it's not easy sometimes, and some days it's soul destroying, but hang in there, you've got some fine ladies at home that love and support you. best.

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  22. "We don't go to work to get away from home, we go to work to have a home." So eloquently put. So accurate. Great post.

    XO
    Carly

    All This Grace and Charm
    http://allthisgraceandcharm.blogspot.com

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  23. After I read this I've kissed my man and told him how much I appreciate all the hard work he is doing for us. Thanks thanks thanks for your words. Sometimes we the girls need this class of reminders.

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  24. Great post. I think that last line fits for working dads and moms.

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