March 07, 2017

The Wait

Well, I can’t believe I’m typing this but, I’m still pregnant.
Before you get all flustered with that sentence because you’re aware I’m not even to my due date yet, let me explain a bit. What it all comes down to is, don’t compare your pregnancies. You really can’t base what’s going to happen on past experiences because every baby will just be different. But in my case I guess I can’t even trust my intuition anymore. As I said in my last Bumpdate post, everything that happened with Rowan had happened up until that post. I’m dilated, effaced, lost my mucus plug and my doctor swept my membranes within the exact same days of the pregnancy that she did with Rowan. Even my doctor said “well, see ya tonight!” as I left my appt, sure that I would be in labor within the next few hours. In our minds we had every reason to think baby girl would be here by now. We spent the entire weekend on the edge of our seats anticipating labor. Every contraction (well, braxton hicks contraction I guess) was timed and every pressure, pain or squeeze I had was obsessed over. When the baby didn’t come by Thursday night after my big doctor’s appt that day we thought for sure she’d still be here by Friday. I had painful (to the point where I was squeezing Derek’s arm to get through it) contractions that night, some 5 minutes apart for one or two hours, but they never stuck. They just faded away as I fell asleep and I woke up in the middle of the night to pee and realized “hey wait, where’s the baby?” Now that I’m a day shy of 39 weeks I’m starting to give up on my gut feeling that our baby bird will even be here before my due date this time around. 
But to be fair,  if I hadn’t lost my plug, been dilated/effaced and gotten the sweep, I don’t think I'd be so impatient about all of this. It was the build up and assumptions that led to my now borderline annoyed attitude. My family and close friends are already asking/texting “anything?” everytime I see them and all throughout each day. I don’t think my mom has slept more than a few hours a night thinking that I’m going to call her any second because it’s "go time" so she checks her phone constantly. Derek has arranged then rearranged then rearranged things at work again so that he could get home on time or have time off. He texts me all day long for updates though I usually have none. We’ve just never been here before. I’ve never been this pregnant and we’ve never been in the position where we were seriously waiting for a baby. Of course we were anxious to meet Rowan and I had a feeling then that she would come early-ish (you know, back when I could count on my intuition!) but this time we’re straight up anticipating her arrival every second of every day. Every time I stand up or walk up stairs or dance with Rowan I wonder if my water will break. It’s just ridiculous! I know we should all relax and enjoy the last days as a family of 3 and getting a reasonable amount of sleep but it’s just too late now. The excitement is firmly planted within us all. So just send me some good vibes that I at least don’t go past my due date because I think that will straight up drive me over the edge lol. I’m sure a lot of you mama’s already know that pain as most first timers go past their due date anyway... but I’m still hoping that won’t be the case with me. 

As for the pictures.. basically I walked the neighborhood and ate, walked the beach and ate, walked the mall and ate, cried a little out of frustration and then walked around some more for 3 days straight. We also went for pedicures and shopped around a bit. But mostly just waited.

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